There were two movies here. One with a plot that was virtually incomprehensible, and without any sort of closure. The other, a wonderful tour-de-force of amazing practical monster effects that blew me away. In the same vein as Hellraiser, Silent Hill, and The Mist. I really enjoyed it, with the occasional moment when I said, “What the fuck does that even mean?”
The film is also filled with triangles, which I have a special affinity for, though admittedly, won’t make a bit of difference to most viewers.
The plot is fairly general: A doctor, sad about his dead kid, goes into dark arts and does what he has to open a portal into the dark dimension to bring his kid back. Seems simple enough, but there are so many moments, and I won’t spoil them, when I can’t help but wonder how exactly they fit into the plot at all. I had a blast watching it though, and anyone that is a fan of practical monsters and gore should jump on this one right away.
A man, obsessed with his dead wife - and owner of a creeptastic dungeon – lures various prostitutes into his lair to whip and kill them, but only after they are naked for a bit. In between there is slow naked running through the trees with strategically placed branches. Eventually he falls for a new woman, and the dead ex ain’t too happy ‘bout it.
The second half of the film takes a shift and becomes more of a haunted castle mystery, and is surprisingly entertaining. There are twists in the plot that I didn’t actually see coming, and that is refreshing. However, I may not have seen the twist simply because the first half of the film led me to believe that this was a simple sexploitation film, instead of giallo. It’s kind of a mix between the two.
An ultra-low budget affair done rather well. The story of a girl that pays the bills and takes care of her baby girl by stripping in cam shows. Someone calls her up, Scream style, and forces her to stay on the line or he will kill her. He proceeds to force her to call old boyfriends and admit that she used them for this or that. There is a twist to it, but I won’t spoil anything.
This is one of those low budget movies that are really good – because they are low budget. As in, good based off what we consider possible with no money. The writing is up and down, as is the acting. The twist was something that can be seen a mile away. Still, it is worth a watch on a Wednesday afternoon if you don’t want to get out of bed, and your wife has already left to get you lunch at Sonic.
Picked this one at random to play in the background as I worked. It is a thoroughly terrible movie, but its biggest crime is being boring. The story is about a man living a double life. A man with the church, and a killer of prostitutes and young girls that he buries in the Mojave desert.
It could have been pretty good, and there are a few bright spots, but man is it slow and boring. I just kept thinking, why do people trust this guy? He seems so damned sleazy all the time. But they did, and they died. He strangled them with a cord in incredibly boring death scenes.
Avoid this one, even if it is just in the background.
Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)
James Signorelli, mostly known for doing a metric shit ton of Saturday Night Live
If I were to have seen this movie for the first time today, I doubt I would find it entertaining. However, I was a boy of 9 or 10 when I first saw those tassels swing. I have such fond memories, that even the cheesiest of jokes make me laugh, and this will forever be a wonderful classic in my book. Cassandra Peterson has always been lovable in the role, and a huge crush for most horror loving boys out there. If you haven’t seen it in a while, go watch it again! Now. Get!.
That's all for now. Until next time, keep on watching!