I got a microphone and Dragon Naturally Speaking so that I can attempt to start writing in dictation, but I think this is going to be a bumpy ride. I’m using it right now, but the learning curve is steep. I do plan on continuing to use it, especially when I’m doing my blogs, until I get good enough at it that I could write my novels this way. I do think that it will be easier to get more words on the page each day by speaking them.
If anyone has any advice about dictation, please don’t hesitate to share it with me.
If I write this book and it turns out to be a giant pile of shit, I’m not entirely sure that I will recover from that. It is so easy to say that I would just write the next one and no worries, but I know myself, and I know that that isn’t how it will happen. I would spiral down into the pit of self-loathing, and who knows if I would ever attempt to write another book again. Then, I would just have to look at Lindsay and say, “I fucked up. I guess now I go back to working in an office until it kills me.”
Yesterday, I had absolutely no reason to hate on anything, but I hated everything. I got a new microphone in the mail and that gave me no joy. I went to Bed Bath and Beyond, which usually makes me feel wonderful since that is one of my favorite stores, but all I felt was trapped. I wasn’t trapped – I know that – I was spending quality time with my son who was making me laugh, but in my head, felt like there was nowhere to go. Sometimes I think that I need so much time alone because when I’m by myself I don’t actually regard myself at all. I am just a presence in limbo, and that is serene. It is when I’m around others that I have to deal with myself, and that is such a hard thing to explain to people. Especially the people you love that you just got mad at for no reason.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading about blogging recently, and the thing that they always say is to not write a bunch of personal whiny shit – so, I guess I fucked that up to. This is a blog about horror related things, or about writing, and instead you got a diatribe of nonsense that you can’t use and probably didn’t want to hear.
I blame the dictation.