Pet Sematary (1989)
Mary Lambert, director of a bunch of music videos (namely Madonna), Some horror sequels, including Pet Sematary 2, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid – which I haven’t seen, but so will at some point.
Pop Quiz: Which Ramones song is playing while the trucker runs over the little kid? I’ll tell you at the end.
Pet Sematary, the classic that everyone remembers as being an awesome thing when they were young. I did too and so decided to revisit the magic. Starring that dude from Time Trax, that kid from Kindergarten Cop (boys have a penis, girls have a vagina) and Herman Munster.
Doesn’t matter. The movie is super fun to watch. The visuals are mostly great, even though they are crazy terrible. For an example, watch the end with the crazy little kid. Most of the time he is an obvious doll being thrown around by actors and effects crew. I love it!
Just leave all expectations out of your mind and enjoy the ride on this one, it’s a lot of fun.
Oh by the way: Sheena is a Punk Rocker.
Pet Sematary 2 (1992)
Same director, also Amazon PRIME
I watched this one for the hell of it right after re-watching the first. I had never actually seen it. I wouldn’t say it was good, but it is worth watching for Clancy Brown’s crazy performance alone. Even Edward Furlong doesn’t emo the thing up to the point that you want to kill yourself. In this one, those that come back have a little more will of their own it seems. They do crazy things. It’s fun and stupid and everything in between.
A French film about a young vegetarian, Justine, that is forced to eat raw rabbit liver in a hazing ritual at vet college which gradually transforms her into a rabid carnivore. I know that every time I eat a hot dog I then want to eat someone’s face, so the premise of this film makes perfect sense.
There is a scene where Justine’s sister has her entire arm up the ass of a cow. I can relate to this as I myself have had my entire arm up a cow’s vagina. Artificial insemination. My cousin dared me to do it, and it was weird. As I was doing my thing, the cow shit on my shoulder. Memories. The next scene, her sister is teaching her how to pee standing up then waxes her hoo-hoo. This movie is breaking down so many walls.
Justine first gets the urge to eat people when her sister accidentally gets her finger cut off. The aforementioned finger looks too good to resist so she chomps down on it like it was baby-back ribs from Chili’s. I might try this at Thanksgiving so I never have to go again.
The sister is strangely ok with the imbibing of her finger. Turns out, she likes to chow down on tender pieces of people too. She tries to help Justine learn how to find her food, but Justine just doesn’t want to have any part of it, though withdrawals set in and her tune changes. I’ll let you watch the movie for yourselves to see the scenes with the paint and the carnivorous sex with the gay roommate.
The ending isn’t bad, and I won’t spoil that here either. Somehow, I wanted something more from the movie, but I just don’t know what that might be. Once you are a cannibal, what next? That is a question I would like to have answered more fully at some point. Still: recommended.
Have you seen this one yet? If so, let me know what you think in the comments below. As always, sign up for the newsletter to get the occasional organized email with recent posts that you are sure to enjoy, and come join our Facebook group to talk horror with us. It's a blast!
Also, please go check out the awesome things they have over at Barnes & Noble. The bookstore is not quite dead yet! Long live books. Really though, it helps out my page, and I truly do love the place.
Be Afraid (2017)
This one was a huge surprise for me. The critics pretty much hated it, but I found it thoroughly entertaining until the end, which sucked shit balls.
The story deals with sleep paralysis which is something that I personally have to deal with far more often than I would like. It is a truly frightening experience. You feel as if you are awake but you are only half way there. Your body will not move, everything is surreal and scary, and you just have to wait in fear until the phenomena subsides. Man, it sucks.
Please tell me what you though of the movie in the comments below. Do you agree with the critics and think it has no value, or were you pleasantly surprised as I was? check out or amazing Facebook group here, and get in on all the fun horror discussions. Also, don't forget to sign up below for the newsletter and get notified of new and awesome posts. No spam I promise.
Also, check out Adam & Eve for all your sex toy needs. Horror gets the juices flowing, so treat yourself!
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